why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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