so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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