Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
OPIZZABONMYDICK
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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