You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
