Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
