Having a random hookup so left but love u
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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