Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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