There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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