I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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