Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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