I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
