Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
