I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
