I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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