Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
