Kiss
Puke
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
