ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
