so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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