we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize