I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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