Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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