I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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