you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
