I just pynch a tree in the face
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And then my night got REAL pukey
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
