The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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