Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
