Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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