So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize