dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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