was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Someone signed my nipple.
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