That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
