Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
