found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
