what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
