But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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