why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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