Whod you bang
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
