...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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