i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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