you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
