Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need a beard to bite.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
