Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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