I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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