dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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