all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
