Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
