i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
