he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
