Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize