I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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