It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
