So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
