Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
