she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
