May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
