Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize