South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
