the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
