R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
