Fuck appropriateness.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
