my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
