Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
