I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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