am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
