the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
