Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
