well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
