Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
