even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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