ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
